Halting Moments

Forgiveness.

Listening to someone you were pissed at months ago, complaining about a wrongdoing someone did unto her, only to realise:- hey, that was exactly the same thing you were pissed at her for!!

It was kinda surreal, no particular emotions at that point in time. She was sad, when she was recounting her story, and I felt like telling her,"You know what, that was exactly how I felt when you did that to me. So yes, I truly understand how you feel right now." And that, with no malice nor anger felt.

That was how I felt too when I see you. I didn't know how to express myself anymore. Should I be angry whenever I see her? Should I be moody then? Or maybe just a straight face? Pretends that nothing has happened maybe?

I am tired. I am tired of being angry. I am tired of asking why. I am tired of regrets. I am tired of missing us.

I don't know what to do really. I realised I have forgave her without me knowing.

I always thought I knew what to do at most times. But as I age, I feel more naive, and somehow, more emotionally unstable. More individualistic.

Is it me? Is it my surroundings? Is it Singapore?

I miss the old me. A lot.

A Brilliant Start

And yes, I have just changed job!!!!
Bought a car.
And will start to drive soon here in Sg!

I am now a Product Specialist in a pharma company and really hope this goes well for me this time.

I am pretty incoherent now as I am writting this on my mobile and am really hungry too. Stressed by the long queue here in the driving centre

Re-defining..."Happening"

Who says your birthday month is your luckiest month?

1st week: Diagnosed with costochronditis after pain through the weekend. No worries, just some inflammation of lung cartilage that could happen due to your sleeping posture

2nd week: Had migraine over the weekend. On Monday, took MC due to UTI. No worries too, I have had that before.

3rd week:


9:00 am: Woke up to go to the loo.
9:08 am: What's that weird pain at my lower abdomen?
9:09 am: Rolled over on my side, and oh god, this is damn painful
9:10 am: THIS IS DARN PAINFUL. I can't even yelled out Darling's name, I had to call using my mobile phone next to me.
9:15 am: The pain is totally unbearable. I had one hand holding my abdomen and the other, clutching the bed rail.

AH. It is too long to type out the exact sequence of events. Clinic doctor came from downstairs and told us, that's it, she has to be rushed to the hospital. Called the ambulance. I havent had a chance to thank the dear paramedics who were so nice to me. Albeit in pain, I noticed what I have learnt when I was a Red Cross member being applied onto me! :D ok, that doesnt warrant a smiley face.

In the ER, I was pushed to scan immediately. They wanted me to do immediate surgery due to internal bleeding. Perforated corpus luteum. I was in SO SO SO much pain (worsened while they were doing a scan), I was SO SO SO darn scared of the words "immediate surgery", before I knew it, I was sobbing like a baby. :((((

Thank god for the senior consultant who came in, he thinks that I can be observed first, before any decisions were made. However, if in any case, my blood pressure drops, I would be rushed in for surgery already. This is not an open surgery, but rather a laproscopic surgery where they make 4 holes in the abdomen. Enough to freak me up. But the good point is, it takes only 2 days to heal the surgery wound.

And so I chose to believe in my body that it will resolve itself.

Night was horrible. I was poked with a huge cannola (big syringe: to make matters worse, the MO mis-poked and now my dear hand is bruised so badly), injected with painkillers, drawing of blood in tubes :( I had so much pain on my shoulders and rib cage due to the build up pressure that I dont even realise pain in my abdomen. :( Here, I want to thank my Darling who actually bought a Jazz CD that helped a lot in soothing me down.

Mom flew in the next morning.

I was better after the first night. But hey, it doesnt rain in California, but it pours! (according to Darling's mom)

Darling and Min went back home, only to find, our unit door, splashed with black tar!!! And our landlord's faces were all over with writtings on the wall!

Loansharks.

Landlord owed them money. They thought he stays here.

So we had an argument cum discussion with the landlord, on paying us back our deposit so that we can move. That means, searching for a new place yet AGAIN.

All in all, we lodged a police report, we spoke to the loanshark who believed that we are just tenants after all and now we have found a new place. Will be moving next month. Am working from home now.

La di la.

Lil newphew had epileptic fever in Pg, my dear mom was worried sick. And now, my elder sis, nearly fainted ytd, mom needs to fly back immediately to help her. Sigh.

Damn. It's not only pouring. It feels like hurricane has just happened.

Once again!

I know. I disappeared for quite some time. Inactive on facebook. Inactive on Friendster. Inactive on my blog. Inactive on msn. :S:S I couldnt have been more inactive!!

Okay, just to update, for want of a better word, a lil about myself.

I have graduated in July. Convocated, did the mortar board throwing thingy yes. Moved away from the West side of Sg and now staying in Commonwealth with tukau Kwah. No, we still don't have a dog as our pet (that explains the much doggy eyed looks at other people's pets) and URGH, we sort of have new pets now eh tukau kwah? The whole family has come to stay in fact.
:( In other words, our house was infested with cockroaches, and now all three of us here are probably qualified to apply to pest company. I forgot. I won't and will NEVER do that.

Eek.

I am employed now, as an Analyst in a small business consulting firm specifically focused in healthcare. A great combination for me yeah?

Besides the working life, I do a bit of dance, hip hop and salsa, and have been back to reading some books! :)))

That's all now dear folks. My eyes are dying, as I am always staring at the PC, hence the lack of involvement in PC-based activities. Please understand *smile* but I am always up for a drink after work!!!!

5th June 2008

... was a happpppyyyy day!!! Haven't had one in the longest time.

I am still all smiley.

It's Simply Amazing

When I read about the uncontacted tribes in Amazon Rainforest, I am superbly in awe! To think that there are people out there, who have not seen any of us:- it's so intriguing. That they leave in a world of their own and probably thinking that they are the only ones in this wide wide earth. Whoa.

No, that's not their original colour. They painted themselves according to the news. But but.... what if it IS their original colour after all? :D

It would be really interesting if some scientists could get their hands on their genes and do some testing to understand their origins. And if only, we could understand their language, I would love, just love to hear what are their thoughts on us.

Taking Baby Steps

Sometimes you falter, and you pick yourself up again. And sometimes, you lose confidence even in taking baby steps after faltering so many times.

bump:- it's alright!

plop onto floor:- once again!

balled over:- urh.... now that hurts

balled over and hit the table leg:- yikes... this is way harder than it seems. Maybe you are not supposed to use your legs???

balled over, hit the table leg and the lamp fell on me:- I am not too sure I am made to walk after all.

So I Gave

And I put my hands together, and hope for the very best.

Life as an Undergrad in Sg

Whooppee! I think I have graduated! Just had my last Final Year Project poster presentation last Tuesday with the rest of my peers. Guess that's the best part about poster. We all graduated together at the same time!

I have been thinking through of my 4 years here in NTU and I think, it has been pretty fulfilling in one way or another.

Let's see on what I have done in my years here:

1. Held a marker pen in my mouth and using it to draw on the poor naked man (he was thankfully covered with a cardboard)

2. Acted as a cavewoman and my name was Sylvia.

3. Tied a girl to a computer chair while signing my name on her arm.

4. Was a cheerleader and yes, it was with all the leg kicking, lifts and cheering in short skirt with spanky pants.

5. Was a full time dancer a part time student.

6. Tried latin dancing and even participated in ONE competition.

7. Went to my first ever dance audition and have never wanted to be in a club SO badly before.

8. Participated in my first ever hip hop dance competition.

9. Participated in my first ever dance concert.

10. Moved room every single year!

11. Represented my hall in ... ahem... swimming! It was the only time I ever wished I was a frog. Felt like a monkey in the water.

12. Represented my hall in tracks and badminton! Managed to come out fourth!!!!! The year before mine didn't even make it into finals! So not too bad eh.

13. Represented Malaysia.... MALAYSIA!!!! in badminton. Teehee. Mich as my partner. It was quite a screamy session with her.

14. Heard... erm... groans and moans of my pleasure from my neighbours before. THAT was not too pleasant I can tell you. I could never look at them the same again. :D

15. Was burgled.

16. Stayed near the man who steals bras with Mich donating 6 pairs. Really generous of her.

17. Won hall dancing competitions. Our team was feared by many. *laughs insanely*

18. Stayed at the dance studio, with my record being till 5 am in the morning! I really think half of my time in university is spent in the dance studios.

19. Worked part-time while studying

20. Attended an annual student conference organized by Harvard. Eye-opener.

21. Darling won ticks to Japan. So there I was, the person to bring to Japan!!

22. Went to Batam for a relxing trip with cheap massages.

23. Stole beer from a friend's fridge.

24. Participated in a drinking competition.

25. Nearly screwed over my first year of studies :p

26. Won 3rd place for business plan competition. What a trying period and the sweet adrenaline each time we got through.

27. Learnt karate!

28. Promoted Samsung handphones in a dance.

29. Choreographed an item in dance concert.

30. Yelled and argued with the co-choreographer. BAD. It was really bad. Me thinks it took him a few days before it registered to him. Oh. She yelled at me.

31. Was given an anonymous love letter in the library. That was quite bizarre. Really.

32. Was given 21 presents on my birthday by Darling.

33. OH. The victim of the I-want-to-stick-my-used-pads-everwhere-so-you-can-touch-and-see-it girl. *traumatised*

34. Did a marketing project for my FYP instead of lab research. :) I miss my FYP.

35. Slept on top of ADM school roof on a carpet till 4.30am. :)

36. Disguised as the "scary elevator ghost".

HAH. So many crazy times in uni! The dunkings, the surprises, the games, the dance practices, the talks with profs, the drinking times, the late nights of projects, the crazy talking-to-self-in-a-bid-to-try-to-memorize-biology-subjects... it may not be as exciting as some but it has been fulfilling to me nevertheless. :)

The 3 Beloved Kids at Home

The 7-Year-Old

The inquitsitive of the lot. So inquisitive that sometimes I have problems answering his questions.

Nephew: Yiyi, is Spongebob Squarepants a girl or a boy?
Me: (They all, like me, love Spongebob Squarepants.Baffled. Isn't it obvious that it's a boy?). It's a boy of course!
Nephew: If it's a boy, why does his eyes look like a girl!!!!!(His finger pointing to his lashes).

Now, I have never asked myself that!

Nephew: Yiyi Yiyi, is Spongebob Squarepants a sea creature?

Me: No! It's a sponge!

Nephew: Then why is he living in the sea?

...

Nephew: Yiyi, sponges live in pineapples ah?

Me: No, he is just special!

And other few tonnes of questions including why is Patrick the Starfish's house a rock, why Sandy the squirrel stays under the sea (Is squirrel a sea creature Yiyi?) and why Mr. Krabs daughter, is a WHALE. :S :S and also why is Spongebob Squarepants's pet a snail (Is snail a sea creature?)

The 9-Year-Old Second niece is pretty smart. But lately has been so into looking pretty i.e. bringing about her pack of earrings and trying to ask me to wear the same teddy earrings she has!

And on her 14-year-old sis claiming that she copies her homework from her friend and everyone else does the same, the 9-year-old quietly said, " If you copy, you don't learn anything." Right on spot there, young one.

The last time I was back, she wanted an English name for herself for which she asked me,"Is Catherine nice?"

Me: But a lot of people have that name wor.

Niece: But it is K-A-F-F-R-I-N

Wow. I haven't heard that before, and she did not tell me where she got the name from. :S

The 14-Year-Old

The 14-year-old is in her teenage years and as usual, is always misunderstood and that does not go too well with raging hormones. I was shocked to the core to see her skype name as "Lonely Gal" one time. She doesn't have much interest in books but one thing though, she loves and is good at her handicraft work. So good that some relatives are willing to buy her pieces and I am very impressed.

I am glad for her, as she is one happy person (I think), who does not think too much and is very likeable by her friends.

They have all grown so fast!!!! Before I know, there will be in their teens already and my 14-year-old would be 21! I have taken care of them each since they were crying babies up to kicking little kids before I left here to Sg and somehow, I can't help but to feel I am missing out parts of their lives.

How Blind Can You Get?

"If you are resisting it becomes hard on you, because they are rough. They manhandle you. I would just go through with it and then it was over." - The Star.

This was a woman who was trafficked by a man and kept inside an apartment for prostitution. She had served hundreds of men and only ONE ever offered to help. It gives me the chills to think that these men could just come, pay and then just left after getting what they want even though they must have known she was trafficked into this.

Poor girl was one day released by her trafficker and was caught by the French on possessing fake documents and have since discovered she has HIV.

And I shudder to think of how many of these women are outside now experiencing the same thing like this woman here.

Freeze for A Cause

Oooo I find this real interesting and I want to do it too!!!

This group of people had a KL Freeze not too long ago. Wait, what is Freeze?

"Freeze is when a group of people gather at a certain location and do-not-move/freeze for a few minutes. It happens unannounced and unexpectedly to the others who are not part of the group thus creating a scene and gauging a response."

by Random Alphabets

They have done it in KL with like, 1000 people freezing together at the same time!

Now, they are doing it again on the 20th April, this time for the call to be environmental friendly! Hear Hear! All you have to do is tune your time according to theirs, wear green and freeze in an act that shows you care for the environment i.e. holding an LTR ticket to reduce CO2 emmissions! This time the freeze is called, Freeze for World Earth Day!

Argh. I want to do this!

KL Freeze

You know what'd be awesome? Everybody freezes at that time around the world!!!! How coll is that? *laughs* You'd be walking in Sg, and hey FREEZEEEEEE!!! and then you realise, hey, they are like 10 people around you who froze too!

Takers anyone? *sniggers*

Happy Thoughts

Top 3 things that will inevitably put a smile on my face and lighten my day:

A) Dogs

B) Babies

C) Animals

Nope. Animals and dogs. 2 different kinds to me.

She Kinda Rocks

You all know who is this?

The French First Lady!!!!

And she is now coined the "new Princess Diana"! I simply love the different cultures adopted all over the world :D

American Idol/Singer

I kinda not like to call them IDOLS. After all, just by being the top in this competition does not make you an idol. It just makes you the best and most popular singer in the competition!

AH! But I don't really care now, both of my FAVOURITE DAvids are in to the next round! :D

Wedding Affair

I watched the Grand Finals of Grand Finals of Wedding Affair just now. And boy was it interesting during the answering question session.

Couple 1

Host: (To the Groom) What would you do if you realised, after you are married, that she has chest hair? CHEST HAIR!!!!
(Groom looked at the Bride's chest dubiously, kissed his finger and placed it there briefly)

Groom: Seriously, I would shave it. It's QUITE a turn off.

Bride: FYI, he has a fettish for shaving hair.
(Seriously, that's a bit gross to reveal no?)

Host: (To the bride) What would you do, one month into your marriage, you realised that your husband farts so frequently that it's EVERY TWO MINUTES.

Bride: FYI, he does that frequently even now (dagger stare at the husband). I will tell him, no do-do if you fart-fart.

DO-DO?

Host: What? That's the new term for it now?
*laughs hysterically*

Couple 2

Host: (To the Groom) What would you do, if say you went to the mall to buy a thong for your fiancee and you saw your ex-lover. Would you ask her to help out and if you do, would you tell your fiancee?

Groom: No.1. I buy ALL her undies for her. (She was nodding frantically). No.2. We have been together for 10 years and she is my first love. So this situation would not come about.

10 points for him!

Host: (To the Bride) What if, one month into the marriage, you realised your husband has a weird fettish. He wants to wear all your undies to work. Yes, the ones he bought for you.

Bride: (Laughs) I am fine with it, he just love the smell of me all over him!!!

That's a killer one!!! WHOA.


Pooh. The 1st Couple won though.

One of its Kind

"We are very concerned with the casual lifestyle adopted by the teenagers who use the short-messaging system (SMS) to interact with their friends,” said state deputy police chief Senior Ast Comm (II) Tuan Amiruddin Hamzah.

- Kota Bahru, The Star

CASUAL with SMS?

I call it moving with technology. I wonder what's a happening lifestyle to them?

The Devil

Looney Tunes has been around since I was young and you know which character has always been my fave?


Nope. Not the Bunny.

Nor the Tweety.

Not the spitting Daffy Duck.

Nor Sylvester the Cat.

And absolutely not the Grandma.

YES! My favourite cartoon character in Looney Tunes is and always have been dear Taz! I like him!

Crazy, bad tempered, yet honest and gentle (at certain times).

And I recently found out, pardon my ignorance, that the real life little Tazmanian Devil looks like this!!!!

Simply adorable too eh? But a far cry from the brown whirling tornado from my Taz. Kinda sad to discover that :] *laughs*

No, I didn't expect the real Taz to do the whirling tornado thingy from the start if that's what you are wondering.

Coincidence

Woman: Which part of Malaysia are you from?
Me: Penang!(proudly)
(Woman chokes a little)

Woman: Which part of Penang?
Me: Tanjung Bungah!

Woman: Really???!! Me too! I stay in Tanjung Park 2!
(My turn to choke)
Me: I stay in Tanjung Park 2!!!

Woman: I am house number 9! YOOOUUU???
Me: Number FIIIVVVEE!!!!

Gosh.

I met my neighbour here, in Singapore, in the company where I am currently doing my FYP now and happened to sat on the same table during lunch one day!!!

Long Overdue

I was looking through my hard drive and found these pics. :D An indeed memorable event.

Gosh, I don't know why my expression was like this and I swear I wasnt trying to immitate the guy in the screen!

Darling got called for the 1st Prize!!!

2 free tickets to Japan!

Darling intending to snatch the ticket back.

Darling smilling from ear to ear!

Such blissful times.