Closing Chapters

As I lifted my eyes to the moving clouds above, I noticed that it is just like us; taking a form as they move on to the space, moulded by the wind.

I have had an internal struggle for as long as I remembered, searching for the comfort in the grief and sorrow that surround us from within. I am never one who can handle deaths well, and sometimes, I feel that the grief is eating me from inside. I always thought, the Christians could handle it much better, sincerely believing that they will meet their loved ones in Heaven and that is why, death is much bearable. Being a Taoist/Bhuddist, I never really know what's in store for us. And I suspect, that was the reason why I could not handle deaths very well. Acceptance comes with understanding and I never really understood that phase in life.

But it came home to me last Sunday. And this is what I choose to believe.

That human beings are the highest suffering that one could get of all beings. That the fact that we are granted with intelligence, with inexplicable complexed feelings, made us suffer the most. This longing love you feel for someone, this immense greed for wealth, the hatred and despise for someone, the grief and sorrow one feels; that nothingness indeed, is the greatest achievement.

That we should then, blessed are we with these feelings and thoughts, make the best of what we have now and to lessen the sufferings of people around us.

That we are just in one chapters of our lives and one does not die but one passes on after closing this chapter.

My Aunt has passed on last Sunday to another chapter for the better. I am happy, that she is no longer in pain and suffering like the rest of us here, knowing that we won't be able to see her again.

May you be happy now too dear Aunt, no longer bedridden but be the active one that you were.

*smiles*

Thank you Darling, for sharing with me.